What I’m Trying to Figure Out

(A late post for Tuesday)
(Warning: this post contains little to no mention of running)

Last night, I met up with two friends of mine who I have known since the fourth grade. We were best friends up until high school when we all went to different schools and just drifted apart. It was so nice getting together with them after nearly – what? 7 years? I loved hearing about their adventures, plans for the future and of course we did tons of reminiscing!

There is just something so rejuvenating about reconnecting with old friends. It’s especially rewarding when you can just pick up right where you had left off, no matter how much time has passed.
My favourite part about last night (excluding the delicious and cheap food we scored downtown) were the truly soul-searching, mind-reeling, life-questioning topics we discussed. As a summer nanny, I very very very rarely get any actual adult conversation lately, so I embraced our 4 hours of real life talk.

One of my friends is an empowered, self-confident and self-loving woman. I admire her in so many ways and wish I could have half the confidence she has. My other friend is a complete wildflower who does everything on a whim in attempt to discover the world, its people and herself. Both shook their heads at the thought of really planning our their lives or having it all figured out.

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And then there’s me. I plan everything. I anticipate everything. I dream of my future 9-5 job as a teacher and of decorating my someday home. I love thinking of cooking dinner every night with Terry and going to family holidays. I love the thought of watching Hope and Jake grow up and getting a dog and reading all the books I possibly can. Of course I would love to travel, but probably after saving for a few months and definitely not a whim or with a few dollars in my pocket. Of course I would love to see the world, but again, after I’ve established myself in the working world and made some money. So, how boring do I sound now in comparison?

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So with all the thinking and conversing we did last night (where are we going? Why? With who? When? Does it even matter if we know? Why doesn’t everybody love themselves? What can we do to love ourselves more? How can we change the world?) I started questioning my own choices and dreams.
Am I on the right path? is there a right path or even a path at all?

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Then I realized, no. That’s not it at all. There isn’t anything you “should” be doing. There are no rules to life. There is only your outlook on life and how you choose to interpret it. There’s no specific order the events in your life need to happen. There’s no saying they even need to happen at all.

Dreams and the direction you take in life should be unique to you. They should be what you look forward to. When you look into the horizon, you smile because you’re excited, jump up and down because it’s so thrilling. Give you goosebumps because you’re ready.

Now, I know this is a running blog and I know this revelation doesn’t 100% pertain to running, but I still think it’s important for anybody to reflect on, whether you’re 18 trying to decide where you will go after high school, whether you’re 21, about to graduate and go off into the world, or 70 and feeling like you missed out. I think the important message, in life and in running, is to follow your own journey and not compare yours to somebody else’s. That person isn’t necessarily more successful because she has a car and a full time job. And that person isn’t more accomplished because he has travelled to all the continents. She is not a better person because she can double your weekly mileage no problem.

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Your journey, in running or in life, is only your own and if where you are going does not make you as giddy as a kid in a toy store, then change your direction.

(My Reality Check Wednesday will be up later tonight:)

—-
I am not exactly sure what I hope to get back from this post, but I would love to hear what you think.

Have you ever questioned your own journey?

Do you find yourself comparing where you are in life to where somebody else is?

Are you ever “right where you should be” or is there no destination?

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2 thoughts on “What I’m Trying to Figure Out

  1. Can I just love this post?
    Twice yearly, I have this same meet up. We graduated high school together and were all together for the most part K-12 and then all went our own ways. Drastically different ways.
    -Separated career woman with two children who also holds a political office on the side
    -Amazing mom in a blended family of 4 who rocks at everything and its always super cute and trendy
    -Adorable married teacher with two boys and a surprise girl caboose
    -Married stay at home mom of 4
    -Never married woman who has a normal job and boyfriend

    The thing is that we all lean on each other occasionally for different things and even though we all love where we are in life (I think), we all look at each other and maybe would trade places for a day. I think that’s the nature of people and curiosity.

    So, chances are, even if they are thrilled with their life, they may be wanting to trade with you for a day

    Like

    • Veronica, I love your reply!!
      Curiosity is the perfect word. We always want what we can’t have, right? Or at least admire and imagine it. Totally the nature of people, like you said.
      Thanks for an insightful response:)

      Like

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